July 20, 2010
Emma Elizabeth,
Oh My Goodness, sweet and tiny precious baby girl! You are growing up way to fast! The moments are fleeting. I just hold and savor you each day and will you not to grow up so quickly.
You are really cooing and smiling so very much! You rolled over from your back to your front this week. When you end up on your tummy, you cry for someone to come and help you!
We also just started sitting you in your Bumpo seat (it is a seat that helps to prop you up – but you have to have good control of your head before you can use it. Your little eyes and face are so expressive and you coo and coo, and I really feel that we are having quite a conversation together. You are just such a doll.
Today after I nursed you I was just rocking you and watching your brother and sister play. I couldn’t stop nuzzling you and kissing you – and Clayton and Gracie both kept coming up to you and kissing you too! You add so much joy to our lives! God bless you baby Emma!
Family
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
July 20, 2010
Gracie,
Hi baby! You are so smart and so darn grown up for a little girl who isn’t yet 2 years old.
You have pee-peed in the potty in the morning 3 days in a row! I am so very proud of you. You were so cute the first time you went pee in the potty. You proclaimed “I did it!!!” proudly. We were just as excited as you were. You get to put a sticker on a little potty chart each time you try to go. After you sat on the potty briefly today, you got a little smirk across your face and you said “sticker” and got up off the potty. You smart little cookie – already working the system : )
Another cute note – you just adore your big brother and when he came home from school today you smiled a huge smile ran to the window to look out and jumped up and down saying “TAY-TON” “TAY-TON” home!!!
Gracie,
Hi baby! You are so smart and so darn grown up for a little girl who isn’t yet 2 years old.
You have pee-peed in the potty in the morning 3 days in a row! I am so very proud of you. You were so cute the first time you went pee in the potty. You proclaimed “I did it!!!” proudly. We were just as excited as you were. You get to put a sticker on a little potty chart each time you try to go. After you sat on the potty briefly today, you got a little smirk across your face and you said “sticker” and got up off the potty. You smart little cookie – already working the system : )
Another cute note – you just adore your big brother and when he came home from school today you smiled a huge smile ran to the window to look out and jumped up and down saying “TAY-TON” “TAY-TON” home!!!
Raffy, Cookies and Playdates
July 20, 2010
Hi Buddy! You sure are adorable all tucked into bed tonight with your little “Raffy” giraffe clutched in your arm and sound asleep. I remember buying that little giraffe before you were born, and putting it in the nursery on your dresser next to your ultrasound picture. For all that I thought I knew of the joy that was about to be bestowed upon Daddy and I – I can say this – I knew nothing of how deep and vast my love for you could be. I adore you baby boy, and the love I have for you three children and your Daddy consumes me! You guys are my life! You are really doing and saying some adorable things, such as “Mommy, I have an I-DEA (idea).” Your new found imagination is just such a joy! It is so fun to peak into your little mind. You love to play “going to the beach” “going to the moon” “going to the zoo.” Sometimes you say “Mommy, I got an idea. You be Evil Emperor Zurg and I’ll be Buzz Light year.” Just precious! You are starting to understand conditional things – such as directions I give you like “Clayton, you may help me bake cookies, but first you have to pick up all of your blocks and put them back in the box.”
You LOVE to help Daddy and I in the kitchen. Today, you wanted to crack one of the eggs and you did a very good job all by yourself. The yolk startled you when it oozed out quickly, and then you just giggled! Gracie was crying in her crib when she woke up from her nap today. Then, I heard her stop – followed by both of you giggling hysterically. I found you in her crib with her and you two were tickling each other and tackling each other and laughing. I still have no idea how you managed to climb into her crib. You have never done that before. When I asked you how you got in you said, “I wanted in, so I climbed Mommy.” You also told me today that you wanted your friend, Dillon (who we haven’t seen in over a month – and who you’ve only seen a few other times ever) to come and play. I called his Mommy and he gets to come over on Friday and play! Yeah! That will be so much fun for you, as he is a very nice boy and you two play well together.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Ruffle Bottom Baby
July 17, 2010
Baby Em's,
Your mommy and daddy have been married for 6 years today. You are such a beautiful child, my angel girl! You are really budding quite a personality. You smile a ton now, and really interact with us. You have just started rolling over from back to front at 3 ½ months. What a big girl you are trying to be!
Last night you had a tummy ache for a long time, finally this morning, you were rocking in your swing and pooped – right out of your diaper and all over your cute sleeper and swing, all in the washing machine as I type this. I was so glad your tummy stopped hurting sweetie!
You have ruffles on your diaper cover, and a little purple open backed top to match on today, and of course an adorable purple bow in your precious auburn hair.
We went to the farmer’s market to shop for fresh produce this morning, and it was so hot for you! We left as soon as we found some good veggies and herbs!
Mommy had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, and I brought you along. The nurse insisted on holding you and took you out to the nurse’s station where they oohhed and ahhed over your auburn hair and how adorable you are!
You are my little snuggle bug, baby! I love rubbing your fuzzy little head and looking into your giant bubbly blue eyes. You have so much life in you – you are amazing. Just staring at you makes me giddy! Kisses, Mommy.
Baby Em's,
Your mommy and daddy have been married for 6 years today. You are such a beautiful child, my angel girl! You are really budding quite a personality. You smile a ton now, and really interact with us. You have just started rolling over from back to front at 3 ½ months. What a big girl you are trying to be!
Last night you had a tummy ache for a long time, finally this morning, you were rocking in your swing and pooped – right out of your diaper and all over your cute sleeper and swing, all in the washing machine as I type this. I was so glad your tummy stopped hurting sweetie!
You have ruffles on your diaper cover, and a little purple open backed top to match on today, and of course an adorable purple bow in your precious auburn hair.
We went to the farmer’s market to shop for fresh produce this morning, and it was so hot for you! We left as soon as we found some good veggies and herbs!
Mommy had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, and I brought you along. The nurse insisted on holding you and took you out to the nurse’s station where they oohhed and ahhed over your auburn hair and how adorable you are!
You are my little snuggle bug, baby! I love rubbing your fuzzy little head and looking into your giant bubbly blue eyes. You have so much life in you – you are amazing. Just staring at you makes me giddy! Kisses, Mommy.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
6/8/2010
Emme,
My goodness little one, you are already 2 months old! How quickly time passes. You are growing up so big! You are still very long and lean, but filling out some in your face. You can hold your head up by yourself somewhat – although you are still in need of some support. You like to look around now, and especially love our faces! You have begun to coo, which just melts my heart . . . as do your endearing smiles at Daddy and I! How did we get to be so lucky to be your parents, darling!
You are an absolutely perfect little girl, so darling! Your hair is a beautiful auburn red, and you get many compliments on it! Your eyes are a dark blue color right now. I can’t snuggle with you enough!! I love to rub your little soft downy hair on your head too.
You are a great sleeper at night – sleeping 8 or more hours, what a dream! You like to be swaddled tightly to sleep at night, and you look so precious and tiny all wrapped up! You are starting to enjoy swinging in your baby swing, and also to lie on your back and look up at toys hanging over head. You get excited, and kick your feet and flail your hands while you are looking at the toys dangling above you! I am so thankful and awestruck at the wondrous and precious gift you are, we sure are blessed from God with you!
You and Mommy have thrush, a very common thing for breast fed babies and their mom’s to get. Grace got it too, as she took your pacifier and put it in her own mouth several times. The medicine for it has to be taken 4 times a day, and hopefully it will go away. Unfortunately it has a tendency to re-occur. Hopefully that is not the case for us. We just got home from a long trip to Georgia. Your second trip baby girl! Your first trip was 5 hours long, when you were 2 weeks old. On this trip to Georgia you were about 7 weeks old. We stopped in Tennessee on the way down and stayed at a hotel. Then, we stayed the night at your Great-grandma Bebe’s house. Next, we went to a Resort near where we stayed for 2 nights for Uncle Dan and Aunt Jenna's wedding.
You were beloved by all of your great-aunts and great-great-aunts – they all wanted to hold and snuggle you! You were a big hit, especially with Daddy’s Grandma Grace (not actually his relation, but a neighbor of his when he was a child). She held you a lot during the bridesmaid’s luncheon. Your great-aunts Bridget, Sharon, Melissa and Cynthia were very fond of you – as was great-great Aunt Delene. For the wedding you wore Clayton’s Christening gown – you looked like a living doll, so so beautiful – like an angel sent straight from heaven. On the way home from our trip we stopped at the Zoo. It was soooo wonderful to be home!
Emme,
My goodness little one, you are already 2 months old! How quickly time passes. You are growing up so big! You are still very long and lean, but filling out some in your face. You can hold your head up by yourself somewhat – although you are still in need of some support. You like to look around now, and especially love our faces! You have begun to coo, which just melts my heart . . . as do your endearing smiles at Daddy and I! How did we get to be so lucky to be your parents, darling!
You are an absolutely perfect little girl, so darling! Your hair is a beautiful auburn red, and you get many compliments on it! Your eyes are a dark blue color right now. I can’t snuggle with you enough!! I love to rub your little soft downy hair on your head too.
You are a great sleeper at night – sleeping 8 or more hours, what a dream! You like to be swaddled tightly to sleep at night, and you look so precious and tiny all wrapped up! You are starting to enjoy swinging in your baby swing, and also to lie on your back and look up at toys hanging over head. You get excited, and kick your feet and flail your hands while you are looking at the toys dangling above you! I am so thankful and awestruck at the wondrous and precious gift you are, we sure are blessed from God with you!
You and Mommy have thrush, a very common thing for breast fed babies and their mom’s to get. Grace got it too, as she took your pacifier and put it in her own mouth several times. The medicine for it has to be taken 4 times a day, and hopefully it will go away. Unfortunately it has a tendency to re-occur. Hopefully that is not the case for us. We just got home from a long trip to Georgia. Your second trip baby girl! Your first trip was 5 hours long, when you were 2 weeks old. On this trip to Georgia you were about 7 weeks old. We stopped in Tennessee on the way down and stayed at a hotel. Then, we stayed the night at your Great-grandma Bebe’s house. Next, we went to a Resort near where we stayed for 2 nights for Uncle Dan and Aunt Jenna's wedding.
You were beloved by all of your great-aunts and great-great-aunts – they all wanted to hold and snuggle you! You were a big hit, especially with Daddy’s Grandma Grace (not actually his relation, but a neighbor of his when he was a child). She held you a lot during the bridesmaid’s luncheon. Your great-aunts Bridget, Sharon, Melissa and Cynthia were very fond of you – as was great-great Aunt Delene. For the wedding you wore Clayton’s Christening gown – you looked like a living doll, so so beautiful – like an angel sent straight from heaven. On the way home from our trip we stopped at the Zoo. It was soooo wonderful to be home!
Nothing Small About Grace!
6/8/2010
Gracie,
Oh my goodness sweet Grace – you are so wonderful! As Daddy said the other day, there is nothing small about our little Gracie – she is big on the height charts and she has a big personality! You are so naturally happy and joyful and it is a blessing to everyone around you! You have bouncing ringlet curls that look too perfect and adorable to be natural, but they are all yours babe! You have the most beautiful eyes, and little round cherry cheeks that bounce when you laugh. You are so adorable!!! Your personality is so incredibly engaging, you are already so savvy at manipulation (which is a skill mommy hopes you learn to use for good in the world).
You are most definitely in the toddler stage. You are fearless and sometimes defiant. You like to run away from us, or generally in any direction we don’t want you to. You are into hitting and sometimes biting – ouch.
A funny story, the other day you and I were in a fancy baby store, and you were running away from me and I kept catching you and bringing you back next to me. One of the times you ran away you ran into a woman – and then you started whacking her with your hitting – she looked at you in shock, and rather than shy away when you discovered it wasn’t me – you just gave her a little smirk grin that said “ha ha lady, you don’t scare me!” Too funny baby girl.
You are just my wild little angel. You definitely worry me. I have had to put baby locks on all of the outdoor doors, as you and Clayton try to tag team open the doors and escape our home. You also have some sort of natural honing device inside you (it is hereditary, as your brother did this too) that sends you running straight for the street whenever you get a chance – if we are at a park, for example. We will harness and bridle some of that wild spirit and wrangle it and use it for the greater good! That is my hope and prayer for you, sweet child.
You are still my sweet baby girl, and sometimes still seem like a baby to me when you suck your thumb and say “hold you” when you want me to hold you, and say “night night” when you want me to take you upstairs and rock you to sleep.
We recently went on a trip to Uncle Dan and Aunt Jenna’s wedding. On the way down we stayed at a few hotels, and you and Daddy snuggled in one bed while Mommy and Clayton snuggled in the other. Little Emma slept in her co-sleeper right beside Mommy. You and Daddy looked so sweet cuddled up together!
Gracie,
Oh my goodness sweet Grace – you are so wonderful! As Daddy said the other day, there is nothing small about our little Gracie – she is big on the height charts and she has a big personality! You are so naturally happy and joyful and it is a blessing to everyone around you! You have bouncing ringlet curls that look too perfect and adorable to be natural, but they are all yours babe! You have the most beautiful eyes, and little round cherry cheeks that bounce when you laugh. You are so adorable!!! Your personality is so incredibly engaging, you are already so savvy at manipulation (which is a skill mommy hopes you learn to use for good in the world).
You are most definitely in the toddler stage. You are fearless and sometimes defiant. You like to run away from us, or generally in any direction we don’t want you to. You are into hitting and sometimes biting – ouch.
A funny story, the other day you and I were in a fancy baby store, and you were running away from me and I kept catching you and bringing you back next to me. One of the times you ran away you ran into a woman – and then you started whacking her with your hitting – she looked at you in shock, and rather than shy away when you discovered it wasn’t me – you just gave her a little smirk grin that said “ha ha lady, you don’t scare me!” Too funny baby girl.
You are just my wild little angel. You definitely worry me. I have had to put baby locks on all of the outdoor doors, as you and Clayton try to tag team open the doors and escape our home. You also have some sort of natural honing device inside you (it is hereditary, as your brother did this too) that sends you running straight for the street whenever you get a chance – if we are at a park, for example. We will harness and bridle some of that wild spirit and wrangle it and use it for the greater good! That is my hope and prayer for you, sweet child.
You are still my sweet baby girl, and sometimes still seem like a baby to me when you suck your thumb and say “hold you” when you want me to hold you, and say “night night” when you want me to take you upstairs and rock you to sleep.
We recently went on a trip to Uncle Dan and Aunt Jenna’s wedding. On the way down we stayed at a few hotels, and you and Daddy snuggled in one bed while Mommy and Clayton snuggled in the other. Little Emma slept in her co-sleeper right beside Mommy. You and Daddy looked so sweet cuddled up together!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bringing Emma Home
4-19-2010
Dear Emma,
Wow baby – I can’t believe two weeks have passed. You have already done so much and there is so much to tell you! Daddy and I were very concerned with giving you a name fitting for such an angel as you – so, although you were born on Good Friday, we did not decide for sure that your name would be Emma Elizabeth until Easter Sunday. I think it fits you perfectly little Emma!
You are so sweet and lovely. We enjoyed our time in the hospital with just the three of us – you, Mommy, and Daddy. Clayton and Grace came with the grandparents to visit us each day. But mostly we snuggled you and gazed upon your sweet face. You were snuggly and very sleepy those first couple days.
However, on Saturday night you decided to be awake and crying a little when it was time for sleeping – - - so, Mom and Dad decided that Mommy would go on the Dairy Free/Soy Free diet in case it was your tummy that was bothering you. We did this diet for Grace, and it seemed to help her stomach remain calm. We wish we would have done it for Clayton, as his tummy always seemed to be upset – but we didn’t know anything about the diet when he was a baby.
Daddy and I couldn’t get over how tiny you were. Daddy was just in awe at your beauty. When we brought you home you were such a good baby, you fit right in. Clayton and Grace love you very much and like to kiss you, touch you, and hug you. They are working on being gentle with you. Clayton sings you lullabies and proudly tells anyone he can that you are his new sister “Emma Elizabeth.”
Dear Emma,
Wow baby – I can’t believe two weeks have passed. You have already done so much and there is so much to tell you! Daddy and I were very concerned with giving you a name fitting for such an angel as you – so, although you were born on Good Friday, we did not decide for sure that your name would be Emma Elizabeth until Easter Sunday. I think it fits you perfectly little Emma!
You are so sweet and lovely. We enjoyed our time in the hospital with just the three of us – you, Mommy, and Daddy. Clayton and Grace came with the grandparents to visit us each day. But mostly we snuggled you and gazed upon your sweet face. You were snuggly and very sleepy those first couple days.
However, on Saturday night you decided to be awake and crying a little when it was time for sleeping – - - so, Mom and Dad decided that Mommy would go on the Dairy Free/Soy Free diet in case it was your tummy that was bothering you. We did this diet for Grace, and it seemed to help her stomach remain calm. We wish we would have done it for Clayton, as his tummy always seemed to be upset – but we didn’t know anything about the diet when he was a baby.
Daddy and I couldn’t get over how tiny you were. Daddy was just in awe at your beauty. When we brought you home you were such a good baby, you fit right in. Clayton and Grace love you very much and like to kiss you, touch you, and hug you. They are working on being gentle with you. Clayton sings you lullabies and proudly tells anyone he can that you are his new sister “Emma Elizabeth.”
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Girly-Girl in Fairy Wings, Trip to the ER
4/15/2010
Hi my sweetest little Gracie!
You are getting so big so fast! You are my little girly girl. This morning I put fairy wings on you and we danced and giggled in front of Mommy’s bedroom mirror together while Daddy watched us. Sure wish I could freeze those moments and keep them forever!
You gave Mommy and Daddy quite a scare the other day – you were up all night long crying and we rocked and rocked you and it didn’t seem to help. The next morning (Friday) I took you to the pediatricians. You had an inner ear infection in your right ear and the start of an ear infection in your left. Poor girl! They gave you an antibiotic.
A few hours later were were home and you were shaking on and off, and you were very hot. Your temperature was 105.3 degrees. I was worried and called the pediatrician’s office and the nurse said to call 911. The paramedics said you were probably be okay as your fever had dropped to 103.8 with Tylenol. They said we could either take you to the emergency room ourselves, let them take you, or give you medicine every 4 hours to keep your fever down and take you in if you got any worse or if your fever went back up – they thought all would be reasonable options. We decided to take you in ourselves and have you checked out. Nahna was with us and Daddy met us in the ER. You were fine, and the doctors determined that the shakes were not concerning and not seizures. We were so glad at the good news for you! You have continued to be out of sorts and have a fever for a few days, but seem to gradually be getting more of your typical spunk back.
You are so cute with your new sister Emma Elizabeth. She is now 2 weeks old and you love to touch her and kiss her. You point out her hair, eyes, hands, feet so proudly and just today you said her name, Emma, rather than calling her Baby as you had been. You are still a baby yourself, at only 19 months old sweetie!
You have the most clear and beautiful sky-colored eyes, sweet rosy cheeks, and the most darling curls in your hair. I put bows in your hair each day, and you seem to like them. I love you so much!
You are really taking an interest in reading books now and in learning new things. One of your favorite things to do is play with all of your brother’s toys, the “forbidden” ones that he doesn’t want you to touch, when he is away at school. You are too funny darling! You and Clayton continue to be each other’s best friends. You also have your spats, but overall, I truly believe you’d be lost without each other. It does my heart so much good to watch you two giggling and playing together.
Special Education Preschool and riding the bus!
4/15/2010
Hey buddy! You started a new school and you are just flourishing. Miss Terri is your teacher, and Miss Jane is your assistant teacher. You ride the school bus to and from school, and are usually sleeping when you get off the bus. You really seem to be enjoying school and your teacher says you are doing excellent. I am so very proud of you buddy! You are also doing a fantastic job of potty training. You haven’t yet had a single accident in your bed overnight, and you now pee in the potty all by yourself. You are working on pooping in the potty and have been doing great with that too! Daddy and I are so proud! You rode your bike around the cul-de-saq today and are pedaling your tricycle like a big boy – you are growing up so fast! You made a friend with the neighbor boy who was out riding his big wheel. Too cute! You also went for a ride in the trailer on the back of Poppy’s bike with Gracie. Too adorable! You and Grace rode in the back with snacks and books. You haven’t been feeling great, and your fever reached 103.9 last night, but I think you are starting to feel much better today. It is so beautiful outside, so it was great you could get a little fresh air!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Emma is born
4-2-2010
Tiny Child,
You were born this morning at 2:58 a.m.
Yesterday I went to my doctor appointment and my tummy was measuring small. They did an ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid and it was on the low side of normal – this really concerned Mommy's doctor. So, she Mommy go home and pack her things and return later that evening to be induced. Mommy was not excited to be induced.
Rather than give me pitocin, a medication to artificially start contractions, a doctor broke my water at 9:45 p.m on April 1st. Mommy and Daddy walked the halls and up and down some stairs to get labor started and it worked! By about 1am Mommy was feeling some stronger contractions. Around 2am Mommy had an epidural and was in pain from the contractions. In order to hold very still during the contractions while they placed the epidural in my back, I squeezed Daddy’s arm, and accidently squeezed so hard with my fingernails he had little nail marks up and down his arm where I drew blood. Poor Daddy! He never complained. Mommy’s nurse’s name was Emily, and she was a young nurse and was comforting and sweet. Mommy dilated from about 4cm to 10cm in about 20 or 30 minutes. That sure was fast!
When it came time to push you out there were at least 3 doctors and lots of medical students, all women, to help you into the world. Mommy’s doula arrived after the epidural was placed and was there too. Daddy held my hand and you were born into the world “sunny side” or face up. I think that means that you will always be a positive or “glass half-full” person! How fantastic! Since you were sunny side up the doctors helped you along by placing a suction cup on your head twice, so you’ll have two little swollen spots on your head for a while.
Daddy cut your umbilical cord and you were put into my arms. You were so tiny and so beautiful! It was so amazing to finally gaze upon you after feeling you stir inside my womb for 9 months. You are absolutely perfect in every way!!! I love you so much, so very very much and am so glad that you are in our lives! I’ve been waiting so long to meet you. Now that you are here, you are overwhelming my heart with more love and joy than I had even expected!
Tiny Child,
You were born this morning at 2:58 a.m.
Yesterday I went to my doctor appointment and my tummy was measuring small. They did an ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid and it was on the low side of normal – this really concerned Mommy's doctor. So, she Mommy go home and pack her things and return later that evening to be induced. Mommy was not excited to be induced.
Rather than give me pitocin, a medication to artificially start contractions, a doctor broke my water at 9:45 p.m on April 1st. Mommy and Daddy walked the halls and up and down some stairs to get labor started and it worked! By about 1am Mommy was feeling some stronger contractions. Around 2am Mommy had an epidural and was in pain from the contractions. In order to hold very still during the contractions while they placed the epidural in my back, I squeezed Daddy’s arm, and accidently squeezed so hard with my fingernails he had little nail marks up and down his arm where I drew blood. Poor Daddy! He never complained. Mommy’s nurse’s name was Emily, and she was a young nurse and was comforting and sweet. Mommy dilated from about 4cm to 10cm in about 20 or 30 minutes. That sure was fast!
When it came time to push you out there were at least 3 doctors and lots of medical students, all women, to help you into the world. Mommy’s doula arrived after the epidural was placed and was there too. Daddy held my hand and you were born into the world “sunny side” or face up. I think that means that you will always be a positive or “glass half-full” person! How fantastic! Since you were sunny side up the doctors helped you along by placing a suction cup on your head twice, so you’ll have two little swollen spots on your head for a while.
Daddy cut your umbilical cord and you were put into my arms. You were so tiny and so beautiful! It was so amazing to finally gaze upon you after feeling you stir inside my womb for 9 months. You are absolutely perfect in every way!!! I love you so much, so very very much and am so glad that you are in our lives! I’ve been waiting so long to meet you. Now that you are here, you are overwhelming my heart with more love and joy than I had even expected!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Piggy-tails & Lightening
3/23/2010
Gracie, I can hardly believe in a week or so that you will not be my “baby,” but rather a big sister. You are so tiny and precious and still such a baby! I love watching you prance around in your little pigtails and bows and saying “milky” or “book.” You are mommy’s angel girl. You are so fun to take to the store to grocery shop, or to a mommy’s group and just show you off. You are just so darn precious and it’s fun to share you with others! You are really starting to love reading books – you especially prefer the realistic picture books. You like to point to each object on the pages and have me tell you what each thing is “apple” “tree” “boy” “cow” etc. You love using your finger to point, and sometimes you will repeat the word after me. You have memorized or learned some of the words in your books, and will tell me what they are – such a smart baby!
You are getting so fast- Mommy's lightening bolt! Today, I was trying to help clean up at my Mommy Club Group, and when I would set you down you would dash in any direction exploring the newfound territory . . . so I of course would race after you and had trouble keeping up. So fast! Obviously Mommy wasn’t very efficient at helping with the clean-up.
You also currently love naming and pointing to yours, and others, body parts. “Hair – bow – ear – nose – tummy, etc.” You have a way of smiling at people that just engages them with you. So charismatic and charming babe! You also have some looks that are hilarious and crabby! So funny!
You are not feeling awesome; I think you have a little virus on top of your ear infection. Hopefully the ear infection is cleared up – as you finished your antibiotic today. You have had a nasty cough and Daddy has given you two albuteral treatments to help you breathe before you have gone to sleep the last two nights.
Yesterday afternoon your cough got so hacky, that you actually threw up your oranges and then some from breakfast. Poor baby. We both had puke on our shirts, and were getting dressed when the doorbell was ringing. That was a little crazy : ) Tylenol seems to help, and hopefully you will feel better soon – you took a great nap today, so I’m hoping the rest helps to heal you precious girl.
Gracie, I can hardly believe in a week or so that you will not be my “baby,” but rather a big sister. You are so tiny and precious and still such a baby! I love watching you prance around in your little pigtails and bows and saying “milky” or “book.” You are mommy’s angel girl. You are so fun to take to the store to grocery shop, or to a mommy’s group and just show you off. You are just so darn precious and it’s fun to share you with others! You are really starting to love reading books – you especially prefer the realistic picture books. You like to point to each object on the pages and have me tell you what each thing is “apple” “tree” “boy” “cow” etc. You love using your finger to point, and sometimes you will repeat the word after me. You have memorized or learned some of the words in your books, and will tell me what they are – such a smart baby!
You are getting so fast- Mommy's lightening bolt! Today, I was trying to help clean up at my Mommy Club Group, and when I would set you down you would dash in any direction exploring the newfound territory . . . so I of course would race after you and had trouble keeping up. So fast! Obviously Mommy wasn’t very efficient at helping with the clean-up.
You also currently love naming and pointing to yours, and others, body parts. “Hair – bow – ear – nose – tummy, etc.” You have a way of smiling at people that just engages them with you. So charismatic and charming babe! You also have some looks that are hilarious and crabby! So funny!
You are not feeling awesome; I think you have a little virus on top of your ear infection. Hopefully the ear infection is cleared up – as you finished your antibiotic today. You have had a nasty cough and Daddy has given you two albuteral treatments to help you breathe before you have gone to sleep the last two nights.
Yesterday afternoon your cough got so hacky, that you actually threw up your oranges and then some from breakfast. Poor baby. We both had puke on our shirts, and were getting dressed when the doorbell was ringing. That was a little crazy : ) Tylenol seems to help, and hopefully you will feel better soon – you took a great nap today, so I’m hoping the rest helps to heal you precious girl.
Tae Kwon Do
3/23/2010
Hey buddy. You are doing such a great job growing from a toddler into a little boy. You are attending preschool twice a week and are starting to tell on your teachers when they put you in time out, or tell on your classmates when they take a toy of yours. I love hearing about your day! You also tell us which teachers and friends you enjoy, and that is so fun to hear.
You really enjoy taekwondo and are so cute about putting on your uniform on Tuesday and Thursday nights. You are the youngest and smallest kiddo at Taekwondo and just adorable – I am SO proud you are my son!
We have been reading lots of books about having a “new baby” in our house and you have been telling people that “there is a baby in Mommy’s tummy” and that you are having a sister. You are given a choice each night of which book you’d like us to read . . . or two or three books, and you always choose the book about the new baby.
While I read it to you, you point to the bigger sibling and say “that is Clayton” and to the baby and say either “that is Gracie, or that is the new baby.” You love mommy to sing "Lullabye and Goodnight" at bed time. As we were praying the other night, you prayed for Mommy, Daddy, Gracie, and the baby in Mommy’s tummy. You melt my heart son!
We went to the park a few days ago and you played for an hour and a half in the sand with your bus and shovel and digger. You are a doll boy! You want to kiss your sister, Gracie, each morning and each night. What a great big brother you are.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
3/3/2010
Hi little sweet girl! You are getting so tall babe! I was just looking at you today thinking - wow, how did she get to be such a big girl? You were adorable today, dressed in soft pink corduroy overall bibs with a caterpillar appliqué, paired with a matching button up sweater with a caterpillar. http://s0.ilike.com/play#Veggie+Tales:This+Little+Light+Of+Mine:1193426:s29838116.13745475.3895.0.2.149%2Cstd_51a22088d5224be4b4523bcd2f4dc9bfIn your hair you had pigtails with curly-que ribbons that matched perfectly. But the thing that made you the most adorable was the little personality and darling girl those fancy clothes were wrapped around.
You have this way of looking at people, you squint your eyes and tilt your head and then squeeze your cheeks as if to say “Love ya.” It melts hearts!!! (including Mommy’s). You love pushing around a little pink stroller Mommy got for you - it is so adorable! You are learning to use a spoon to eat yogurt and apple sauce, what a smart little girl you are! You’ve also learned how to throw a fit and demand “COOKIE” in reference to an animal cracker from the cookie jar. Your favorite time to do this is when the telephone rings - too funny darling!
You really are enjoying being read books and love to talk about and identify head, nose, ears, mouth, cheek, chin, hair on yourself, Mommy, and your baby doll. Sooo smart!!! You have also picked up on the different songs I sing to you and hum phrases from the tunes. When I play a bible story morning song CD in the mornings at breakfast and “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine” plays - you do the cutest thing - you hold your little finger up (your light) and start dancing!
Precious baby!
As I am writing this journal you are crying in your crib. You never wake much in the night. I just went and rocked, cuddled you, and played with your curly locks for over half of an hour. Poor baby, you pooped today and started bleeding. Your stool was soft, but perhaps you passed something that cut you? I think you now have a sore bottom and it is waking you up. Hopefully you are feeling better in the morning, or I may want to take you to the doctor. I hate when you hurt sweetie. All my love - Mama.
Hi little sweet girl! You are getting so tall babe! I was just looking at you today thinking - wow, how did she get to be such a big girl? You were adorable today, dressed in soft pink corduroy overall bibs with a caterpillar appliqué, paired with a matching button up sweater with a caterpillar. http://s0.ilike.com/play#Veggie+Tales:This+Little+Light+Of+Mine:1193426:s29838116.13745475.3895.0.2.149%2Cstd_51a22088d5224be4b4523bcd2f4dc9bfIn your hair you had pigtails with curly-que ribbons that matched perfectly. But the thing that made you the most adorable was the little personality and darling girl those fancy clothes were wrapped around.
You have this way of looking at people, you squint your eyes and tilt your head and then squeeze your cheeks as if to say “Love ya.” It melts hearts!!! (including Mommy’s). You love pushing around a little pink stroller Mommy got for you - it is so adorable! You are learning to use a spoon to eat yogurt and apple sauce, what a smart little girl you are! You’ve also learned how to throw a fit and demand “COOKIE” in reference to an animal cracker from the cookie jar. Your favorite time to do this is when the telephone rings - too funny darling!
You really are enjoying being read books and love to talk about and identify head, nose, ears, mouth, cheek, chin, hair on yourself, Mommy, and your baby doll. Sooo smart!!! You have also picked up on the different songs I sing to you and hum phrases from the tunes. When I play a bible story morning song CD in the mornings at breakfast and “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine” plays - you do the cutest thing - you hold your little finger up (your light) and start dancing!
Precious baby!
As I am writing this journal you are crying in your crib. You never wake much in the night. I just went and rocked, cuddled you, and played with your curly locks for over half of an hour. Poor baby, you pooped today and started bleeding. Your stool was soft, but perhaps you passed something that cut you? I think you now have a sore bottom and it is waking you up. Hopefully you are feeling better in the morning, or I may want to take you to the doctor. I hate when you hurt sweetie. All my love - Mama.
Growing up to be a big boy!
3/3/2010
Clayton, Wow Buddy - you are growing up to be such a big boy! You are learning to do all sorts of things! We have a little nightly routine where you take a bath, put your clothes in the hamper, put on your pajamas, and read books.
I am sooo incredibly proud of you. You are really making such huge strides in your learning and you have such a truly endearing personality. You are expanding what you enjoy doing. Although you still enjoy your trains very much, you love so many other things. You love jumping on your trampoline, riding on your tricycle, doing flips in the living room, building tents with blankets, painting, puppet shows, reading books - Barney stories have been your favorite as of lately, cooking, playing hide and seek, tickling and giggling with Gracie, and you still enjoy watching cartoons or movies - especially Veggie Tales.
Just last week you pooped on the potty for the first time - and it was in a public place - WOW! That was so brave! We were at the Recreation Center and you went poopy in a grown up toilet with Daddy. You had a Taekwondo class at the Rec Center, and afterward you went to Walmart with Poppy R. and Daddy to select a train of your choice as a reward for pooping in the potty. Good Job Buddy! You have not pooped in the potty since, but I know you will again soon. You have also been doing an excellent job going pee pee in the potty - you have even been going pee pee at your preschool.
I am also so impressed with they way you have taken to Taekwondo. The first class you cried, wouldn’t take your shoes off, and wouldn’t get off of my lap. By the third class, you were standing with the rest of the kids and Daddy was helping you do the motions. By the fourth class, you asked to have an “outfit” (Taekwondo uniform) and you completed the entire 45 minute class by yourself. You are just 3 years old and I think most of the other students in the class are closer to 5 and 6 years old. You are just a phenomenal little boy!
Your temper tantrums have decreased in length and frequency, although you do still surprise me from time to time with an outburst or fit. We’ll keep working on your frustrations and managing your emotions bud. Mommy loves you way more than I can ever express in this journal. I love love love you baby!
Clayton, Wow Buddy - you are growing up to be such a big boy! You are learning to do all sorts of things! We have a little nightly routine where you take a bath, put your clothes in the hamper, put on your pajamas, and read books.
I am sooo incredibly proud of you. You are really making such huge strides in your learning and you have such a truly endearing personality. You are expanding what you enjoy doing. Although you still enjoy your trains very much, you love so many other things. You love jumping on your trampoline, riding on your tricycle, doing flips in the living room, building tents with blankets, painting, puppet shows, reading books - Barney stories have been your favorite as of lately, cooking, playing hide and seek, tickling and giggling with Gracie, and you still enjoy watching cartoons or movies - especially Veggie Tales.
Just last week you pooped on the potty for the first time - and it was in a public place - WOW! That was so brave! We were at the Recreation Center and you went poopy in a grown up toilet with Daddy. You had a Taekwondo class at the Rec Center, and afterward you went to Walmart with Poppy R. and Daddy to select a train of your choice as a reward for pooping in the potty. Good Job Buddy! You have not pooped in the potty since, but I know you will again soon. You have also been doing an excellent job going pee pee in the potty - you have even been going pee pee at your preschool.
I am also so impressed with they way you have taken to Taekwondo. The first class you cried, wouldn’t take your shoes off, and wouldn’t get off of my lap. By the third class, you were standing with the rest of the kids and Daddy was helping you do the motions. By the fourth class, you asked to have an “outfit” (Taekwondo uniform) and you completed the entire 45 minute class by yourself. You are just 3 years old and I think most of the other students in the class are closer to 5 and 6 years old. You are just a phenomenal little boy!
Your temper tantrums have decreased in length and frequency, although you do still surprise me from time to time with an outburst or fit. We’ll keep working on your frustrations and managing your emotions bud. Mommy loves you way more than I can ever express in this journal. I love love love you baby!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Baby-Proofed does not equal Gracie Proofed!
1/31/10
Gracie, you are fast asleep as I write this.
You are such a funny little girl! Today I peeked in on your Sunday School class and they had all of you and the other baby toddlers sitting in miniature chairs and singing a song about wind in the trees. Adorable! You love interaction and love to participate in little activities.
You are also very strong willed when it comes to doing what you want to do! Daddy and I bought another lock for the oven drawer today, to keep you from hauling Mommy’s baking pans all over the house! Just when we thought we had the house “Gracie proofed!” Ha! You showed us!
You were so sweet with our puppy, Daisy, today. You went up to her and hugged her sweetly around the neck and laid your head down on her body . . . And then started petting her.
You went to sleep easily tonight and were such a good girl when I brushed your teeth at bedtime. I gave you some Ibuprofen and Tylenol, as you have a low grade fever and runny nose and have been fussy today. I think you either have a little cold, or are getting some new teeth. Right now you have 4 teeth on the top and 3 on the bottom. Love you sweetness and light!
Gracie, you are fast asleep as I write this.
You are such a funny little girl! Today I peeked in on your Sunday School class and they had all of you and the other baby toddlers sitting in miniature chairs and singing a song about wind in the trees. Adorable! You love interaction and love to participate in little activities.
You are also very strong willed when it comes to doing what you want to do! Daddy and I bought another lock for the oven drawer today, to keep you from hauling Mommy’s baking pans all over the house! Just when we thought we had the house “Gracie proofed!” Ha! You showed us!
You were so sweet with our puppy, Daisy, today. You went up to her and hugged her sweetly around the neck and laid your head down on her body . . . And then started petting her.
You went to sleep easily tonight and were such a good girl when I brushed your teeth at bedtime. I gave you some Ibuprofen and Tylenol, as you have a low grade fever and runny nose and have been fussy today. I think you either have a little cold, or are getting some new teeth. Right now you have 4 teeth on the top and 3 on the bottom. Love you sweetness and light!
Winter Days
1/31/10
Clayton, you made a crown at Sunday School this morning and wore it proudly home. Your hat says “Jesus Loves Clayton” and is adorned in jewels stickers. I was overjoyed that you were wearing your little hat and smiling proudly. Right on, buddy, I thought to myself - Jesus does love you and you are the most special little boy ever! You were absolutely darling when you told your Sunday School teachers “bye, bye and thank you.” Later today we went to Winterfest in Coralville - and we looked at the train exhibit in the car museum. You were in heaven watching all the trains with Daddy! They also had a horse drawn carriage - you liked looking at the Belgium horses from afar, but got upset when I tried to take you up close to them. They were very big! You and I went inside a tee-pee set up outside and you had so much fun playing in there. Later, we came home and you and Gracie were so cute cuddling and wrestling on the couch. Right now Daddy is upstairs tucking you in to sleep in your race car bed. Your night time routine consists of brushing your teeth, putting on pj’s, putting your clothes in the hamper, reading a few books, singing a song, saying prayers, asking for a puppet show and for us to make up a story with “Clayton” in it, and us snuggling with you. You are pretty picky about having your Thomas blankie covering you up, and if it is in the washing machine you get upset. You are very attached to your Thomas blanket.
Clayton, you made a crown at Sunday School this morning and wore it proudly home. Your hat says “Jesus Loves Clayton” and is adorned in jewels stickers. I was overjoyed that you were wearing your little hat and smiling proudly. Right on, buddy, I thought to myself - Jesus does love you and you are the most special little boy ever! You were absolutely darling when you told your Sunday School teachers “bye, bye and thank you.” Later today we went to Winterfest in Coralville - and we looked at the train exhibit in the car museum. You were in heaven watching all the trains with Daddy! They also had a horse drawn carriage - you liked looking at the Belgium horses from afar, but got upset when I tried to take you up close to them. They were very big! You and I went inside a tee-pee set up outside and you had so much fun playing in there. Later, we came home and you and Gracie were so cute cuddling and wrestling on the couch. Right now Daddy is upstairs tucking you in to sleep in your race car bed. Your night time routine consists of brushing your teeth, putting on pj’s, putting your clothes in the hamper, reading a few books, singing a song, saying prayers, asking for a puppet show and for us to make up a story with “Clayton” in it, and us snuggling with you. You are pretty picky about having your Thomas blankie covering you up, and if it is in the washing machine you get upset. You are very attached to your Thomas blanket.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Christmas and Talking and "I love you a nickel's worth"
12/30/09
Dearest Gracie,
We are visiting in Georgia and staying at Gigi and Grandaddy. Daddy drove down with us and stayed for a week. He flew back on Sunday. You sure love Daddy - always saying his name and reaching for him if anyone else is holding you. So sweet!
You now say “Mama” again - I am so happy! You also say “Dada”, “Puppy”, “Hi”, “Bye-bye”, “Baby” which sounds like Baby, “Thank- you” which sounds like tank tu, and when we ask you what a ducky says you respond “quack quack.”
You have two teeth on the top and three on the bottom. I see the others trying to come through - two on the top and one on the bottom. Daddy said he saw a molar trying to break through also.
Santa came to visit us here in Georgia and brought you a stroller to push and a pony to ride. You have been pushing the stroller non stop with your pink baby riding inside. Your smile lights up the room sweetie. You give the sweetest looks! Everyone, especially your great grandma Bebe said that your chubby cheeks are just precious! Your great granddaddy Paul said he loves you a nickels worth - which means a ton! Love you sweet precious girl.
Dearest Gracie,
We are visiting in Georgia and staying at Gigi and Grandaddy. Daddy drove down with us and stayed for a week. He flew back on Sunday. You sure love Daddy - always saying his name and reaching for him if anyone else is holding you. So sweet!
You now say “Mama” again - I am so happy! You also say “Dada”, “Puppy”, “Hi”, “Bye-bye”, “Baby” which sounds like Baby, “Thank- you” which sounds like tank tu, and when we ask you what a ducky says you respond “quack quack.”
You have two teeth on the top and three on the bottom. I see the others trying to come through - two on the top and one on the bottom. Daddy said he saw a molar trying to break through also.
Santa came to visit us here in Georgia and brought you a stroller to push and a pony to ride. You have been pushing the stroller non stop with your pink baby riding inside. Your smile lights up the room sweetie. You give the sweetest looks! Everyone, especially your great grandma Bebe said that your chubby cheeks are just precious! Your great granddaddy Paul said he loves you a nickels worth - which means a ton! Love you sweet precious girl.
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas Buddy!
12/30/09
We’ve had quite a Christmas and birthday season this year buddy! You must be one of Santa’s favorites, and very high on the NICE list!
We are in Georgia visiting your Gigi and Granddaddy. You have also gone to visit Great Grandmother Bebe and Great Granddaddy Paul. They adore you so much buddy - you were their first great grandchild, and still the only great grandson! You had a blast playing with your Uncle Dan, Soon-to-be Aunt Jenna, Aunt Claire, Uncle Spencer, and Aunt Zen over Christmas. You say that “Hannah Cake is your baby” and are having a blast playing with both Hannah and Grace.
Dan set up a huge cardboard playhouse and you have been coloring on it with markers and loving to play inside of it. We have gone to the park a few times - and you have had a blast on the slides, and really enjoyed seeing the ducks and geese in the park pond.
You have started eating pizza again and asked for toast also. . . Mommy is so overjoyed that you are being a great eater! Maybe you are growing again. You are so cute when you wake up in the morning, you come over and say “I snuggle you” and bring your blankie, pillow, and little teddy bear and crawl into my bed. We had your Christmas photos taken and you were adorable. Just a little charmer. You wore a black velvet blazer and a little black top hat - you are too much buddy! I love you so very much!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
From Birth to Diagnosis
Clayton’s birth involved pushing for 2 ½ hours. Then silence filled the room.What is the problem, why so many people around him. The nurse is pushing Tyler away. What is going on. A tube is shoved down his throat. Later, on the home made video Tyler was filming, I see his lifeless little body being flopped about in the hands of gloved doctors...Finally – a meek CRY. Tears of joy and exhaustion stream down my face, to tired to even ask to hold the fruit of 9 months of labor.
I thought this was supposed to be natural – why isn’t he latching on. Why does he refuse to suckle and instead beat my breast, arch his back and scream. “I think you may want to consider formula, don’t feel bad, it’s OKAY,” the nurse tries to persuade as she wheels the tiny bassinet holding our screaming son into our hospital room for about the 15th time. I can barely sit, yet I try and try again – go to ENT’s to have a tounge clipped, lactation consultant after lactation consultant. Tyler and I learn to survive on 1-2 hours of sleep at a time, and then tag team out to be the next to walk the halls with our colicky infant.
Sleep 20 hours a day – my eye!!! Try scream 20 hours a day. This was suppose to be blissful and bonding. Instead we are exhausted and our relationship is straining. 9 months go on. The nursing has taken hold. The bonding still seems out of sorts, not what I expected.
Tyler and I witness small short seizures, “common, they’ll disappear” the pediatrician tells us. And they do. Reassurance from the pediatrician, my own mother and father, my mother in law. My inner gut doesn’t quite by it “oh, well, you are a first time mom” – “all babies do that” – “I experienced that when you were a child, now you see what I delt with. He screams for hours in fits of tantrum. Eye contact is barely existent – but the pediatrician checks this out and says he’s right on track, nothing to worry about. Clayton is so smart and developing quickly – hitting all of his milestones early or at least on time. Walking by 9 months, memorizing books and reading them to me before he is two. His temper tantrums are intense and long winded, sometimes up to four hours.
Baby Gymboree is like torture, screaming every time, same with My Gym, and Kindermusic. My kiddo hates these classes and sits in time outs for infractions while the other kids are overjoyed.I feel robbed of the fun. I am confused by Clayton's obvious distress, among his little blissful baby peers who are having so much fun with their parents. I recieve stares from other Mommy's and the teachers. It is obvious that behind their face is the message, wow, that kids is a brat, glad he's not mine. And I swear, some of those darting glances held behind the silence questions of our home life.
My intuition rides my mind, as I try to quiet my questions and turn my thoughts to prayers to my God. I believe as Clayton's mother that I'm so tightly bonded to him that instinctually us I know things other's don't.
The psychologist dismisses me, and encourages more positive praise for Clayton. More positive praise??? I was known as the “too nice teacher” – I am over abundant with praise for my son. . . how in the hell am I suppose to take that a step farther? We have playdates, he runs into the woods or the street, with no interest whatsoever. And me, his pregnant mother, breathlessly chase him to keep him safe. Forget chatting with the other mothers on the park bench as the children play – mine won’t play. More reassurances from family and the docs – "screw you's - I know I'm right about this" and disdain silently scrolls through my thoughts embedded between doubts of “am I doing this mom thing wrong, even though I think I’m doing it right” followed by “there is no way some of these girlfriends of mine could be this patient – I am sure there is a difference in our kids” and “What the hell is going on??”.
Fast forward a few more months. We move to another state and I brace myself, trying to think of absolutely everything to help ease the transition for Clay. Packing up is rough, increased meltdowns and diminishing Mommy patience. We finally arrive at our new home, 5 hours from our old one. Daddy won’t arrive for ten days. I curl my huge body into his crib sized toddler bed with Clayton each night, providing comfort to Clay and in hopes that he will eventually feel that this is home.
Daddy arrives. Tantrums ensue. Some last 4-5 hours. Food rituals become extreme and I am certain that Clayton is auditioning for Jack Nicholson’s character Melvin in “As Good As It Gets”.
The spoon must be the yellow one with little holes in it. It must be placed on the right side of the plate. God forbid, if you put it in the yogurt – a longwinded screaming and anger fit will ensue and nothing will be eaten off the plate.
I speak with our new pediatrician about this, twice. I tell her that I am worried about his nutrition, as he refuses everything now accept milk, yogurt and cereal. I’ve tried every strategy I’ve heard to get Clay to behave and eat his food – to no avail. The best, was strategy I tried was to not feed him anything, except serving him the plate I’d prepared (a balanced and kid friendly meal I’d prepared with all food groups). He went almost 3 days without eating, and I caved. I was not going to starve my child. This manner was obviously beyond stubbornness or a test of who was in charge. The pediatrician refers us to a psychologist who is a feeding expert. He has a major meltdown in front of the feeding psychologist. She diagnoses him with behavior disruptive disorder and refers us to the Autism team for an evaluation. She will see him at a later date for "feeding therapy."
We go to see the Autism Team. We leave with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS on the Autism Spectrum(Pervasive Development Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified), and are told his diagnosis would most likely have been Asperger’s Syndrome if he was older.
I was strong, thought this was no big deal - and then I cried. . . for days. I couldn't stop crying. Finally, the tears turned to silence. My husband and I walk around like ghosts the next few days – silently grieving, silently wondering what Autism is, wondering what we should do next. We read, we hug Clayton, we cry.
I was relieved to know I wasn’t insane, there really was something different about my little guy, my instincts and intuition told me long before any doctor.
The more I read, the more I was pissed at the world. Early intervention is crucial for kiddos on the Autism Spectrum, the earlier the better for the child. If the doctors, or someone, had only listened to me when he was an infant – we could have started his intervention then. Damn everyone! Clayton would be three in a month, and I’ve known something was “off” since he was 4 months old. We’ve lost so much time in which we could have been understanding him.
I was swimming through an ocean, researching everything I could about Autism, PDD-NOS, Asperger's and what to do next. I read book after book, website after website. How do I help him was my guiding question - what I was forgetting to ask, what I really needed to be asking was. . . How do I remember to love him, just as he is.
Tyler was grieving silently - trying to come to terms that every idea he had about how he was going to raise his son into a man, through coaching little league teams and perhaps on into the college years, just as his Dad had done, was looking differently now. A giant gaping hole of difference. He was grieving the fact that they probably wouldn't share this love of sports, of being athletes. Clayton can't catch a ball, and his gait is ackward. Tyler played college ball.
While Tyler was wondering how he was going to show Clayton everything he had to teach him differently than planned, I was worrying about the facts I was finding in books. . . easily bullied, hard to make friends, many never marry. "My poor baby," was all I could think. The books could paint a pretty bleak picture. I tried to push the negatives to the back of my mind and focus on the positive things I could do for Clayton. I focused on all the wonderful things about him, and how lucky we were that he had such a "mild" case. I poised myself to be his advocate in life, fighting for the best for him and speaking up for him. But late at night, the bleak words from books scrolled through my head and brought back the weeping.
Tyler was angry and silent. I was weepy and trying to figure out how to fix it.
The anger subdues, and God breathes calmness and guidance. I am certain that God was doing that all along, asking us to hand over the weight - it was just that we finally stopped, exhausted, and listened and heard his calm.
We love our little man unconditionally and want nothing but the best, he is ours - entrusted to our care by God. We realize that none of this has changed - the important remains. We have to re-orient ourselves, and figure out what it is exactly that Clayton needs from us.
This poem that Tyler came across helped:
Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Perhaps God has intended to teach Tyler and I and the world something through Clayton's Autism Spectrum Disorder: unending patience, love, and total acceptance. He's already taught us that we are stronger and our love goes deeper than we thought possible.
He's taught me that I can endure ear deafening tantrums in the grocery store and the piercing eyes of passers-by. He's taught me that cuddling for hours is the right amount of love. He's taught me to "fight the good fight" and about endurance far beyond the marathon's I ran in college. For example, we sit in Taekwondo for hours and days and weeks, and I learn to ignore stares from parent's whose children are working on the yellow belt. . . because we are working on the "calm down enough to stop crying because it is noisy" and "put your feet on the floor barefeet" belt. He's taught me that kind of endurance is within me and that it is driven by God' love. Clayton's shown me that he can work hard and push through his sensory issues and persevere - the amount of work that takes Clay is equivalent to bringing a skyscraper's building plans into fruition. He really is my wonder boy!
Clayton's sensory processing and PDD-NOS or Asperger's can be treated, but not "cured." He will have this diagnosis all his life. Autism is not taboo, it is not a curse, it is not a disappointment. Clayton is our precious gift from God, the one, along with his sisters, Tyler and I live our lives for. We couldn't be prouder of Clayton! He is our miracle.
The Autism Spectrum is a blessing, a Miracle. Although, not without trials and frustrations, autism is not a curse - but rather a blessing. Without it we would not have Bill Gates, Hans Christian Anderson, Albert Einstein, or Clay Clay the Wonder Boy - just to name a few. It is a MIRACLE! These people are God's miracles, and like all people, they have something to teach, something BIG to contribute. Clayton's autism is a blessing in our home; through understanding of it we will move forward. Clayton's autism has already taught us so much and bonded us so deeply as a family.
"Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge shall every room be filled with precious and pleasant riches. - ANONYMOUS" We thank God for teaching us in His mysterious ways. We thank God for our son, Clayton.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Baby-zilla on Wheels
12/17/09
Grace, you have become Mommy’s “Baby-zilla” - - you are walking and even running everywhere and are into everything. I can hardly keep up with you darling! You are very adventurous, brave and mischievous. Some of your favorite stunts are to empty out any drawer or cupboard you can get into, unroll the toilet paper, take your brothers toys he is playing with and run, and open toilets and splash in them. You are so hilarious! Just exploring everything these days.
You are also such a sweetheart. When either Daddy or I are gone and return home, you run to us arms outstretched and want to be hugged and held. You love to make sweet little faces back and forth with us. You also like to hold your dolls and give them hugs. It melts me to see you being so affectionate and nurturing.
A funny thing about you at this age is that you are starting to prefer Daddy over me. It is really very sweet, and I don’t mind. I love to see you love Daddy!
On our family Christmas Santa brought you four baby dolls and you adore one in particular. She is a little pink Middleton doll named Hailey.
We had your 15 month check up at the doctor two days ago and you received four shots, and cried the saddest cry Mama has ever heard. It broke my heart, but thankfully you recovered very quickly. The doctor says you are growing and healthy! I love you so much sweetie.
Clayton's 3rd Birthday and PDD-NOS Diagnosis
12/17/09
Clay Clay the Wonder Boy,
Wow bud, what a whirl wind things have been lately. Mommy asked the pediatrician for an appointment with a specialist to help with your picky eating. I have been worried that you won’t get the proper nutrition you need to grow to be a big and strong guy. Through that appointment we were sent to have you tested for the autism spectrum.
You were diagnosed with PDD-NOS, although they stated that at another clinic you may not have been diagnosed. The team of psychologists stated that you are very mild, but do have some symptoms and with a diagnosis you can get more services to help you learn and grow. If you were older, the doctors said they would most likely have diagnosed you with Asperger's. We have spent a lot of time in various doctors’ offices and waiting rooms since then, however, I think after all these initial appointments, this should slow down a bit. It looks like we’ll be seeing an occupational therapist to help with sensory skills as you may not be interpreting all of your sensory cues, a speech therapist to help with social communication, a feeding therapist to help you broaden your food choices, and a behavioral therapist to help with tantrums. You have been such a good boy through all of this, and I am so proud of you. Everyone comments on how bright and friendly you are! I agree, you are an amazing little guy.
For your birthday we celebrated with three candles on your cake and ice cream. You did a great job huffing and puffing to blow out your candles. You received a basketball hoop and a soccer ball, along with some cars for your birthday. On our family Christmas morning, Santa Claus came and left you a giant train table that makes all kinds of sounds as you go around the tracks.
Clay Clay the Wonder Boy,
Wow bud, what a whirl wind things have been lately. Mommy asked the pediatrician for an appointment with a specialist to help with your picky eating. I have been worried that you won’t get the proper nutrition you need to grow to be a big and strong guy. Through that appointment we were sent to have you tested for the autism spectrum.
You were diagnosed with PDD-NOS, although they stated that at another clinic you may not have been diagnosed. The team of psychologists stated that you are very mild, but do have some symptoms and with a diagnosis you can get more services to help you learn and grow. If you were older, the doctors said they would most likely have diagnosed you with Asperger's. We have spent a lot of time in various doctors’ offices and waiting rooms since then, however, I think after all these initial appointments, this should slow down a bit. It looks like we’ll be seeing an occupational therapist to help with sensory skills as you may not be interpreting all of your sensory cues, a speech therapist to help with social communication, a feeding therapist to help you broaden your food choices, and a behavioral therapist to help with tantrums. You have been such a good boy through all of this, and I am so proud of you. Everyone comments on how bright and friendly you are! I agree, you are an amazing little guy.
For your birthday we celebrated with three candles on your cake and ice cream. You did a great job huffing and puffing to blow out your candles. You received a basketball hoop and a soccer ball, along with some cars for your birthday. On our family Christmas morning, Santa Claus came and left you a giant train table that makes all kinds of sounds as you go around the tracks.
You LOVE it, and have been playing with it constantly. Grace tries to play with you, but you get upset at her disrupting the tracks. It was delightful to have your birthday and Christmas this year, as you are now at an age where you understand what it is all about and get so excited! You love the presents and the songs, the ornaments, and the tree. And I love you!
Monday, October 12, 2009
H1N1 Swine Flu, Standing, and Giggling with Brother
10/12/09
My Grace, you sure are giving Mama a scare. You have the H1N1 Swine Flu and they have put you on Tamiflu, an anti-viral medication. You are finished with your medicine tomorrow morning, and still have a slight fever and a terrible chesty cough. You are much better than you were though, as you wouldn’t babble or crawl for an entire day. You only cried and wanted to be held. You poor baby girl! I am going to take you back to the doctor tomorrow morning so they can be sure your lungs are clear.
You are hitting some developmental milestones! You are standing on your own now. Just two days ago you patty-caked your hands for the first time. I have been trying to teach you patty cake for a long time, and it is so exciting to see you clapping your little hands together grinning from ear to ear with pride. You are so adorable, the way you are so proud of your accomplishment! So happy and full of joy, like always. You are also starting to walk around holding onto one finger on each of my hands.
And you are into everything! Into all of mommy’s drawers, racing through the baby gate and up the stairs whenever it is left open, and just today you got into the garbage can - pulled out a piece of pizza - and started eating it. You are so fast!
Mommy is worn out by the end of the day from chasing after cute little you! You and your brother are really enjoying each other. You love to crawl as fast as you can and chase him around the room. The two of you have staring contests, and then you both just start hysterically giggling! Those moments melt Mama’s heart!
My Grace, you sure are giving Mama a scare. You have the H1N1 Swine Flu and they have put you on Tamiflu, an anti-viral medication. You are finished with your medicine tomorrow morning, and still have a slight fever and a terrible chesty cough. You are much better than you were though, as you wouldn’t babble or crawl for an entire day. You only cried and wanted to be held. You poor baby girl! I am going to take you back to the doctor tomorrow morning so they can be sure your lungs are clear.
You are hitting some developmental milestones! You are standing on your own now. Just two days ago you patty-caked your hands for the first time. I have been trying to teach you patty cake for a long time, and it is so exciting to see you clapping your little hands together grinning from ear to ear with pride. You are so adorable, the way you are so proud of your accomplishment! So happy and full of joy, like always. You are also starting to walk around holding onto one finger on each of my hands.
And you are into everything! Into all of mommy’s drawers, racing through the baby gate and up the stairs whenever it is left open, and just today you got into the garbage can - pulled out a piece of pizza - and started eating it. You are so fast!
Mommy is worn out by the end of the day from chasing after cute little you! You and your brother are really enjoying each other. You love to crawl as fast as you can and chase him around the room. The two of you have staring contests, and then you both just start hysterically giggling! Those moments melt Mama’s heart!
Preschool/Daycare Tues and Thursdays
10/12/09
Clayton, Hi buddy! You just started preschool last week. Tomorrow will be your third day. You are going on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am so proud of you, you are getting to be such a big boy! You are so much fun and so smart!
You love reading books, playing trains, playing on the computer with Mommy, and driving your trucks and riding your motorcycle around the house. You are an excellent big brother to your little sister. Always kissing her on the head and saying “Love you Gracie.” I am so proud of you! You are starting to be able to put your arms in your shirt and help me get you dressed.
You are also working on learning to brush your own teeth and you help me transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer. You are still a very picky eater and that has Mommy concerned, I want to be sure you get all the nutrients your growing body needs!
I love you so much buddy! Each night we read 3 - 6 books in the rocking chair, then you get in your bed and we sing a made-up song about Thomas the Train characters. “Thomas is going down the track, down the track, down the track, Thomas is going down the track, where is ______. (You fill in the blank with another train character. - Percy for example. Then we sing about that train character. Finally we end with - ) Clayton is snuggled in his bed, in his bed, in his bed, Clayton is snuggled in his bed, Night Night Clayton.
You also like to say your prayers “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, Guide me all through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen.” You pray at meal time also. We all hold hands, close our eyes, and you say “God is Great, God is Good, and we thank Him for our food. Amen.” You make us laugh because if someone at the table doesn’t have their eyes closed you say “You wanna close your eyes. . . “ and then you start the prayer over.
We are working on potty training, but you seem a little frightened to eliminate in the potty. You are very stubborn about using the potty, sometimes screaming that you do not want to use it! When you do sit on the potty, you enjoy Mommy reading you books - but don’t seem interested in actually putting any potty in the potty chair. We’ll keep working on it buddy - I know we’ll get it. I love you very much!
Clayton, Hi buddy! You just started preschool last week. Tomorrow will be your third day. You are going on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am so proud of you, you are getting to be such a big boy! You are so much fun and so smart!
You love reading books, playing trains, playing on the computer with Mommy, and driving your trucks and riding your motorcycle around the house. You are an excellent big brother to your little sister. Always kissing her on the head and saying “Love you Gracie.” I am so proud of you! You are starting to be able to put your arms in your shirt and help me get you dressed.
You are also working on learning to brush your own teeth and you help me transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer. You are still a very picky eater and that has Mommy concerned, I want to be sure you get all the nutrients your growing body needs!
I love you so much buddy! Each night we read 3 - 6 books in the rocking chair, then you get in your bed and we sing a made-up song about Thomas the Train characters. “Thomas is going down the track, down the track, down the track, Thomas is going down the track, where is ______. (You fill in the blank with another train character. - Percy for example. Then we sing about that train character. Finally we end with - ) Clayton is snuggled in his bed, in his bed, in his bed, Clayton is snuggled in his bed, Night Night Clayton.
You also like to say your prayers “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, Guide me all through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen.” You pray at meal time also. We all hold hands, close our eyes, and you say “God is Great, God is Good, and we thank Him for our food. Amen.” You make us laugh because if someone at the table doesn’t have their eyes closed you say “You wanna close your eyes. . . “ and then you start the prayer over.
We are working on potty training, but you seem a little frightened to eliminate in the potty. You are very stubborn about using the potty, sometimes screaming that you do not want to use it! When you do sit on the potty, you enjoy Mommy reading you books - but don’t seem interested in actually putting any potty in the potty chair. We’ll keep working on it buddy - I know we’ll get it. I love you very much!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
GPS gets into trouble with Clayton
9/15/09
Clayton, Hey Bud! You helped Daddy and I cook in the kitchen tonight. You pulled up a chair from the table and said, “I wanna help cook.” Together we made a casserole encased in crescent rolls and a lemon meringue pie. You love to stir and pour in ingredients. So much fun for Daddy and I! You really are a little joy!
You have been addicted to Thomas the Train videos lately. I do not want you to watch TV, as I feel it is so important for you to spend time in imaginative play to develop your brain, however you protest and protest that you want to watch Thomas. You ask us to read Thomas the Train books over and over to you. And then you try to memorize them and read them back to us. You are so smart, and not even three years old yet!
You have a very strong personality and are very persistent about what you do and don’t want. Common phrases heard from you include: “I don’t wanna go night night”, “I don’t wanna take a nap”, “Gracie doesn’t wanna go night night”, “I don’t wanna sit the potty”.
You made Daddy and I laugh the other day so hard in the car on our way to the Apple Orchard. The GPS was giving us directions and said “Turn LEFT” . . . you screamed from the back seat “I Don’t Wanna Turn Left!!!” Daddy and I couldn’t help but laugh. Your argumentative phase is not just towards Daddy and I, but any directions given! So funny buddy!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
We can't get "baby proof" enough!
7/28/09
Gracie,
Ah, sweet baby girl. I feel like you have grown 5 inches overnight! You are so tall. And you have such an adorable bottom tooth peeking out of your smile now. You are into everything! Up the stairs faster than I can shut the baby gate. Into the china cabinet over and over. . . I need to buy a baby proof lock for it!
I am so proud of you and how you have just emerged into this wonderful little person with SO MUCH personality! You only cuddle when you are sleepy now, and I am saddened by that. Oh, I love to cuddle you! We went to the County Fair today and there was a group of about 15 kids playing different instruments. You were the youngest (and by far the cutest in my opinion - equal to your brother of course) and you were just shaking the maracas like crazy! You definitely added your sweet melodies to the music of my life today little one. Oh my, and I have to tell you that I was stopped multiple times today by people ogling over how cute you were in your little flower bonnet! You are a star babe!
Gracie,
Ah, sweet baby girl. I feel like you have grown 5 inches overnight! You are so tall. And you have such an adorable bottom tooth peeking out of your smile now. You are into everything! Up the stairs faster than I can shut the baby gate. Into the china cabinet over and over. . . I need to buy a baby proof lock for it!
I am so proud of you and how you have just emerged into this wonderful little person with SO MUCH personality! You only cuddle when you are sleepy now, and I am saddened by that. Oh, I love to cuddle you! We went to the County Fair today and there was a group of about 15 kids playing different instruments. You were the youngest (and by far the cutest in my opinion - equal to your brother of course) and you were just shaking the maracas like crazy! You definitely added your sweet melodies to the music of my life today little one. Oh my, and I have to tell you that I was stopped multiple times today by people ogling over how cute you were in your little flower bonnet! You are a star babe!
County Fair
7/28/09
Dear Clayton,
Today we went to the County Fair. We looked at rabbits, sheep, and donkeys. . . But you were most interested in the popcorn and coloring your very own tile with marker! You played musical instruments with about 15 other kiddos, and your sister. Your favorite thing was climbing in and out of the yellow skid loader, up and down on the tractors, and in and out of the lawn mowers. It was an ordeal to get you to leave . . . A time out was involved.
Gosh, I was so happy to see you in your element with all of those tractors. You were just blissful babe! I love you much! On the way home you told me, “Oh, Mommy, I sooo tired Mommy.” It was a good day buddy!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Crawling & First Tooth
7/9/09 Gracie, you are such a little honey to mommy! I completely adore you! You are everywhere with your crawling, and now pulling up onto furniture. Just yesterday7/8/09 you showed Daddy and I that you can now crawl up the stairs - which put us in panic mode “We have to baby proof - gates, cabinet locks, cleaning supplies up high.”
You got your first tooth 6/26/09 the day Daddy arrived to our new home.
You have been adored by many since we’ve been here - your Grandparents and Great Aunts and Uncles have loved on you.
You are beginning to enjoy having me read you books. Your hair is getting thicker and blonder, although it is still a light reddish brown with blonde highlights.
You are still nursing in the morning when you wake up, but seem to have weaned yourself from nursing at other times of the day - as you prefer the bottle at those times. You love to be on the ground crawling around, rather than strapped down.
You’re such a terrific little eater for mommy! You refuse all baby food, and love strawberries, bread, cereal, bananas, crackers and pretty much anything that we offer you. Love you baby girl! I can’t believe tomorrow you are going to be 10 months old - the time has just flown by!!!
You got your first tooth 6/26/09 the day Daddy arrived to our new home.
You have been adored by many since we’ve been here - your Grandparents and Great Aunts and Uncles have loved on you.
You are beginning to enjoy having me read you books. Your hair is getting thicker and blonder, although it is still a light reddish brown with blonde highlights.
You are still nursing in the morning when you wake up, but seem to have weaned yourself from nursing at other times of the day - as you prefer the bottle at those times. You love to be on the ground crawling around, rather than strapped down.
You’re such a terrific little eater for mommy! You refuse all baby food, and love strawberries, bread, cereal, bananas, crackers and pretty much anything that we offer you. Love you baby girl! I can’t believe tomorrow you are going to be 10 months old - the time has just flown by!!!
Our new home
7/9/09
Clay Clay the Wonder Boy,
Well buddy, we have moved into our new home. The first two weeks were just you, Gracie, and I. We sure missed Daddy until he finishes work and gets to our new home. It is about a 5 hour drive.
You love your new Geotrax train we have set up in the sunroom and have played hours and hours out there. Your little sister is like baby Tarzan on the train tracks, but you let her play beside you anyway. I think you like her company. The two of you sit and scream at one another back and forth - happy loud squeals. You are so sweet with Gracie.
The other day she was crying and you went up to her and asked “What’s wrong Gracie?” in a very concerned voice. Another time she had wedged herself between the wall and a chair and you asked, “What’s wrong Gracie? Are you stuck? I’ll help you.”
The day we moved in you slept in your big boy bed for the first time. You asked me many times “I snuggle you mommy,” and I crammed my large adult self into your little toddler bed and cuddled you until you fell fast asleep. You love to have your Thomas the Train nightlight and Fish turning light on while you go to sleep. Often, in the mornings, I hear you playing for an hour or so before you ask to come out of your room. You are getting to be such an independent little guy!
We are working on Potty Training, but have not had much success yet. You are sometimes willing to sit on the potty and have earned about 8 stickers on your chart since we moved in for sitting on the potty - but no pee pee in the potty yet. We’ll keep working on it.
You are so adorable the way you are starting to memorize our meal time prayer and bed time prayer - hearing you pray in your tiny innocent little voice is so beautiful. I love you bud! Good night little super hero.
Clay Clay the Wonder Boy,
Well buddy, we have moved into our new home. The first two weeks were just you, Gracie, and I. We sure missed Daddy until he finishes work and gets to our new home. It is about a 5 hour drive.
You love your new Geotrax train we have set up in the sunroom and have played hours and hours out there. Your little sister is like baby Tarzan on the train tracks, but you let her play beside you anyway. I think you like her company. The two of you sit and scream at one another back and forth - happy loud squeals. You are so sweet with Gracie.
The other day she was crying and you went up to her and asked “What’s wrong Gracie?” in a very concerned voice. Another time she had wedged herself between the wall and a chair and you asked, “What’s wrong Gracie? Are you stuck? I’ll help you.”
The day we moved in you slept in your big boy bed for the first time. You asked me many times “I snuggle you mommy,” and I crammed my large adult self into your little toddler bed and cuddled you until you fell fast asleep. You love to have your Thomas the Train nightlight and Fish turning light on while you go to sleep. Often, in the mornings, I hear you playing for an hour or so before you ask to come out of your room. You are getting to be such an independent little guy!
We are working on Potty Training, but have not had much success yet. You are sometimes willing to sit on the potty and have earned about 8 stickers on your chart since we moved in for sitting on the potty - but no pee pee in the potty yet. We’ll keep working on it.
You are so adorable the way you are starting to memorize our meal time prayer and bed time prayer - hearing you pray in your tiny innocent little voice is so beautiful. I love you bud! Good night little super hero.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
A mobile Gracie
Grace,
Poppycame into town this weekend to help us pack up for our big move. You have started crawling!!!
Poppycame into town this weekend to help us pack up for our big move. You have started crawling!!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lil' Miss Hollywood
5/8/09
Gracie,
You are 8 months old today beautiful baby girl! You were adorned in a watermelon dress today of green and pink gingham. We went to a Mininite/Amish community for lunch to celebrate Mother’s Day for Nahna and Great Grandma. Everyone fussed over how precious you were - even strangers! You had a bonnet on that matched your dress and the cutest little round pink and blue pok-a-dot sunglasses. You looked like Lil Miss Hollywood Baby!
You were so sweet and cuddly, as always. . . But a little more fussy than usual - which makes me wonder if your ear infection is still bothering you. Or maybe you are trying to get your first teeth to push through your gums and it hurts? Either way, I hate that you are uncomfortable.
You cried for a few minutes when I put you in your crib to sleep tonight - so I got you up a few times and nursed you a little more and rocked you, but each time I put you back in your crib you cried your “I’m tired” cry. I rubbed your back a little and then left. Your cries finally subsided after about 3 minutes and you fell fast asleep. Love you sleeping angel!
Gracie,
You are 8 months old today beautiful baby girl! You were adorned in a watermelon dress today of green and pink gingham. We went to a Mininite/Amish community for lunch to celebrate Mother’s Day for Nahna and Great Grandma. Everyone fussed over how precious you were - even strangers! You had a bonnet on that matched your dress and the cutest little round pink and blue pok-a-dot sunglasses. You looked like Lil Miss Hollywood Baby!
You were so sweet and cuddly, as always. . . But a little more fussy than usual - which makes me wonder if your ear infection is still bothering you. Or maybe you are trying to get your first teeth to push through your gums and it hurts? Either way, I hate that you are uncomfortable.
You cried for a few minutes when I put you in your crib to sleep tonight - so I got you up a few times and nursed you a little more and rocked you, but each time I put you back in your crib you cried your “I’m tired” cry. I rubbed your back a little and then left. Your cries finally subsided after about 3 minutes and you fell fast asleep. Love you sleeping angel!
Amish Community Trip
5/8/09
Clayton, today we went to a little Mininite/Amish community for a Mother’s Day lunch with Grandma G. The Amish rode their horse and buggy to town and I had fun pointing out to you “look Clayton, a horse” and you would repeat back to me “ A Hose!” excitedly. We went into a little general store and you latched on to a John Deer tractor, combine, and farmyard set and had to have it. Your Papa R. bought it for you. You carried it out of the store proudly and across the street to our car. Once we were in the car you started requesting “Open It Open It”, after I directed you to say “Open It Please Mommy” then I opened it out of the packaging. You were delighted. After we were in the car for a little while, you fell asleep soundly, with a little tractor tucked in your palm.
Tonight while I was reading you books you kept kissing me and saying “love you Mommy” - - - melted my heart! It is for moments like those, that I feel so very blessed to be your mother.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Shots and Late Nights - do not mix!
4/17/09
My little Grace,
We went to your six month doctor check up today (even though you are now seven months). You continue to be our perfect little angel. You are healthy and happy. You have ingrown toenails on your big toe, but the doctor said not to worry about them. You received 2 shots today, one in each leg. And one oral vaccine. You were in such distress when the pain of the shots hit you that your entire face was red and you were holding your breath, and a few seconds later a giant wail followed. It was the saddest, most helpless cry Mommy has ever heard from you. It broke my heart.
You have been a little fussy since your shots, so we gave you some Tylenol. I don’t think it has helped matters that we have gone on a weekend trip to see Mommy’s friend from high school. We are staying in a hotel. We didn’t get you to bed properly until about midnight. Poor baby, please forgive Mama. I love you darling.
My little Grace,
We went to your six month doctor check up today (even though you are now seven months). You continue to be our perfect little angel. You are healthy and happy. You have ingrown toenails on your big toe, but the doctor said not to worry about them. You received 2 shots today, one in each leg. And one oral vaccine. You were in such distress when the pain of the shots hit you that your entire face was red and you were holding your breath, and a few seconds later a giant wail followed. It was the saddest, most helpless cry Mommy has ever heard from you. It broke my heart.
You have been a little fussy since your shots, so we gave you some Tylenol. I don’t think it has helped matters that we have gone on a weekend trip to see Mommy’s friend from high school. We are staying in a hotel. We didn’t get you to bed properly until about midnight. Poor baby, please forgive Mama. I love you darling.
Mommy's Strollerfit Class
4/17/09
Dearest Clayton,
You were such a good little man today. You woke up smiling and happy for the second day in a row. We dressed you and diapered you, and you ate your breakfast nicely. Then, we went to Strollerfit, where you loved running on the tennis court outside with me - yes it was finally a nice enough day to have Stroller fit (Mommy’s exercise class) outside.You told me during Strollerfit that you had to go potty. This is the first time you have ever told me this! I was so excited and proud of you. You held my hand and we walked into the Community Center and you sat on the potty.Wow Buddy! I’m so proud. You did not actually go potty on the toilet, you had already pooped in your diaper, but you flushed the toilet and washed your hands. You asked to go one more time before stroller fit was over, and several more times throughout the day. What a big day - and maybe the start to a potty trained Clayton!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter Sunday Bonnet
4/12/09
Sweet Grace,
You were such a little princess on Easter Sunday. We dressed you up and took you to church. You were all dolled up in your pink Easter bonnet with white ribbons. Your dress was pink silk at the top with a G embroidered on it, for your name, Grace. The bottom was layers of puffy tulle with pink flower petals inside. You wore pink tights and black patent leather shoes. You were such a beautiful baby, sweetheart.
The Easter bunny found you on your first Easter. You got a little talking stuffed froggy and a spinning toy that you push the top down on and all the ladybugs inside twirl around. You also got a pink dolly, and you are so sweet when you look at her and touch her. You fell asleep cuddled up with her today in the grocery store. . . You were a sight to see, so darling.
You gave me a little scare last night as you woke up coughing and laboring to breathe. I gave you a nebulizer treatment and rocked you back to sleep - this morning you had a slight fever, but by this evening you seemed to have shaken it.
Sweet Grace,
You were such a little princess on Easter Sunday. We dressed you up and took you to church. You were all dolled up in your pink Easter bonnet with white ribbons. Your dress was pink silk at the top with a G embroidered on it, for your name, Grace. The bottom was layers of puffy tulle with pink flower petals inside. You wore pink tights and black patent leather shoes. You were such a beautiful baby, sweetheart.
The Easter bunny found you on your first Easter. You got a little talking stuffed froggy and a spinning toy that you push the top down on and all the ladybugs inside twirl around. You also got a pink dolly, and you are so sweet when you look at her and touch her. You fell asleep cuddled up with her today in the grocery store. . . You were a sight to see, so darling.
You gave me a little scare last night as you woke up coughing and laboring to breathe. I gave you a nebulizer treatment and rocked you back to sleep - this morning you had a slight fever, but by this evening you seemed to have shaken it.
Easter
4/12/09
Clayton - you were dressed up and looking very dapper this Easter in your Sear sucker suit, the same one you wore last Easter. You enjoyed the backyard Easter egg hunt. Your eyes lit up when you discovered four large eggs with Thomas the Train characters James and Spencer, and Jay Jay and the Jet Plane characters Big Jake, Tracy, Herky and Jay Jay. On Easter Sunday we went to church, and you got a basket from the Easter Bunny. Inside your basket you had Jay Jay books, and some small toys. Then, we went over to Daddy’s friend Dan S.’s house for an Easter Dinner. You have always loved reading bedtime stories, but your favorite story has changed.
You first loved Pat the Bunny, then Goodnight Moon, the Thomas and the Big Big Bridge, and your current favorite is The Little Engine that Could. The Little Engine that Could was Mommy’s favorite book too, along with Green Eggs and Ham. I feel so much warmth and joy when you curl your little body up on my lap to cuddle, and ask me to read to you. It is always sad when you ask for another and I have to say, “No, it is time for bed now.” I love you so much little angel boy!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
We want to keep the toe doc, and get rid of the Croup!
4/8/09
Gracie Dear,
You are 7 months old today my love. Gosh you are so sweet! You woke up at about 5:30am and I fed you and put you back in your crib. I wanted to keep you in bed with me and cuddle up with you, but there are so many warnings about SIDS, that I wouldn’t want to put you in any danger . . . So back in your own crib you went. You woke up to Clayton and I peering in your crib at 8am. You were all big eyes and smiles.
You were a real trooper in your car seat as we went to Big brother’s Gym class. I got you out and held you in the baby Bjorn carrier for a while - but you are just getting so heavy, so I had to set you back in your car seat. Everyone, both the little children and the adults thought you were so sweet the way you gave them all a big huge smile when they talked to you.
We came back and you ate your sweet potatoes and granola/blueberry baby food so quickly! You are such a big eater! You have such a tiny nose it is hard to get all the food out of your teeny tiny nostrils. You rolled around on the floor and played with toys as I read books to put Clayton down for a nap. Then, I breast fed you and you fell sweetly to sleep in your pretty little purple Easter Bunny outfit. I bought some new bows to put in your fine little hair today. You are just so cute sweetie!
I was thinking of your little toe injury. Mommy substitute taught one day and you went to the church daycare at the church I was teaching in. When I picked you up at the end of the day one of the daycare provider’s children, Madeline, informed me that she took your sock off to look at your cute baby feet and noticed that your toe looked funny. I took you home, somewhat worried, but thinking it was fine. Well, the indention on your little toe got a lot darker and started to bleed. When Daddy got home we took you to Children’s Clinic, and the doctor had to dig into your toe with a scalpel to remove the white thread that had wrapped itself around your little toe. You screamed so loudly and blood splurted out. It was so hard for me to see you so upset. The doctor said that sometimes babies can lose their toes, so we were so thankful that yours healed up just a few days later. You sure did give us a good scare!
Another scare you gave us was when you had trouble breathing. We took you to the doctor and they thought that you had Croup. We went home and became very alarmed during the night when you were struggling and laboring to breathe. We turned on the shower for the hot steam, but that was not bringing much life back into your limp and exhausted little body. You were fully conscious the entire time, but we were so worried. It was the first and last time I can remember that we couldn’t get you to smile when we tried to. We went to Children’s Hospital Emergency room and they gave you a breathing treatment and sent us home with a nebuelizer which we used every four hours on you for the next several days. The breathing mask was made to look like a little dinosaur, which was cute. Usually you cried and struggled to get out from under the mask, once in a while you finally fell asleep.
Gracie Dear,
You are 7 months old today my love. Gosh you are so sweet! You woke up at about 5:30am and I fed you and put you back in your crib. I wanted to keep you in bed with me and cuddle up with you, but there are so many warnings about SIDS, that I wouldn’t want to put you in any danger . . . So back in your own crib you went. You woke up to Clayton and I peering in your crib at 8am. You were all big eyes and smiles.
You were a real trooper in your car seat as we went to Big brother’s Gym class. I got you out and held you in the baby Bjorn carrier for a while - but you are just getting so heavy, so I had to set you back in your car seat. Everyone, both the little children and the adults thought you were so sweet the way you gave them all a big huge smile when they talked to you.
We came back and you ate your sweet potatoes and granola/blueberry baby food so quickly! You are such a big eater! You have such a tiny nose it is hard to get all the food out of your teeny tiny nostrils. You rolled around on the floor and played with toys as I read books to put Clayton down for a nap. Then, I breast fed you and you fell sweetly to sleep in your pretty little purple Easter Bunny outfit. I bought some new bows to put in your fine little hair today. You are just so cute sweetie!
I was thinking of your little toe injury. Mommy substitute taught one day and you went to the church daycare at the church I was teaching in. When I picked you up at the end of the day one of the daycare provider’s children, Madeline, informed me that she took your sock off to look at your cute baby feet and noticed that your toe looked funny. I took you home, somewhat worried, but thinking it was fine. Well, the indention on your little toe got a lot darker and started to bleed. When Daddy got home we took you to Children’s Clinic, and the doctor had to dig into your toe with a scalpel to remove the white thread that had wrapped itself around your little toe. You screamed so loudly and blood splurted out. It was so hard for me to see you so upset. The doctor said that sometimes babies can lose their toes, so we were so thankful that yours healed up just a few days later. You sure did give us a good scare!
Another scare you gave us was when you had trouble breathing. We took you to the doctor and they thought that you had Croup. We went home and became very alarmed during the night when you were struggling and laboring to breathe. We turned on the shower for the hot steam, but that was not bringing much life back into your limp and exhausted little body. You were fully conscious the entire time, but we were so worried. It was the first and last time I can remember that we couldn’t get you to smile when we tried to. We went to Children’s Hospital Emergency room and they gave you a breathing treatment and sent us home with a nebuelizer which we used every four hours on you for the next several days. The breathing mask was made to look like a little dinosaur, which was cute. Usually you cried and struggled to get out from under the mask, once in a while you finally fell asleep.
Up and Down and Up Again
4/8/09Clayton - Hi buddy! We woke up at 8am today. You were crying in your bed “mommy, mommy . . . I want out!” I went to get you and you told me that you wanted to watch Thomas the Tan Engine on T.V. I told you that we needed to get dressed and eat breakfast.
You weren’t happy about not getting to watch Thomas, so you kicked and struggled with me as I dressed you. As I changed your diaper you kicked your feet at me. I told you to stop kicking twice, and the third time I told you “Stop kicking Mommy, or I’ll have to spank you”. That bought me just enough time to get your diaper fastened. We finally did get you dressed.
Together we went in and woke up your sister, she looked up at us smiling. You wanted to lay inside her crib with her, so I picked you up and put you in her crib with her. You gave her a great big hug and kiss, and pushed the button that played her mobile. I am so proud of what a sweet big brother you are!
You started demanding Thomas again, and I did not give in. I so want to let you do whatever you want so that you are happy, but I don’t want to let you zone out on TV, I think it is bad for your health. So, instead we came downstairs and made a foam caterpillar craft. You were very mad and became hysterical that the little circles were glued together and wanted them apart again. I did not let you tear up your craft, as you often do. Instead I put it up on the table and gave you a time out to calm down and talk nicely. When I let you out of time out, you went back for the caterpillar to tear it up. I then put you in your room where you finished your tantrum and then started reading your books and playing with your toys.
When I came up to get you so that we could go bye bye to your MY GYM class, you wanted me to read to you a book - The Little Engine that Could. It was my favorite book when I was little too, so I was glad to read it to you. Then, I carried you downstairs. You did not want to put on your shoes or your coat, so I wrestled them onto you. . . As we were out of time for time outs and they don’t seem to be working effectively. As I picked you up to carry you out to the car you screamed for Herkie, your toy helicopter. I gave him to you and buckled you into your carseat. Once I got your sister in the car, we were off to MY GYM - your play class.
We got there and you sat with me for a second in the circle of Moms, Dads, Teachers, and other kids your age. You did not want to sit in my lap, or participate in the activities. You jumped out of my lap and ran away the first chance you had. One of the teachers scooped you up and brought you back to me. I continued to do the actions to the songs, and you started again to struggle to get away. You finally did get away and I got up to go and get you. You sure ran fast bud! You enjoyed the independent play time. When it was time to pick up, you did not want to join in with the other kids in helping pick up. You wanted to run around. When it was time to go, we had to put your shoes and socks back on. You screamed about it, saying you wanted to play with the trucks. I wasn’t sure which trucks you were screaming about. You had two time outs for screaming and then we did get your shoes on you. You walked nicely out to the car and I put you in your car seat. You started arching your back and screaming you didn’t want it, referring to your car seat. I did get you buckled in and we ran a quick errand at Target.
When we got home you ate bread and butter for lunch - you were also served chicken nuggets, peas, and carrots, but didn’t want them. You were so cute in your high chair driving your Car around and making up a story out loud as you slowly picked at your bread. You screamed and demanded a second piece of bread and butter, which I got for you - as it seems you don’t eat much and I’m happy to feed you anything nutritious you will eat. We went upstairs and you started screaming “McQueen” then name of your race car that you were playing with while you ate. We had to come back downstairs to look for him, as you were very upset, but we couldn’t find him anywhere.
I carried you back upstairs and changed your diaper. The kicking pattern returned during your diaper change. I got you diapered and we read two books as I rocked you. Reading books to you and rocking you is my favorite time with you. You are so sweet the way you gather 2 or 3 of your favorite toys and we get your blanket and you snuggle in. After we read your books, we sang Lullabye and Goodnight together, and I put you in your crib and told you night night. I could hear you playing with your toys for a few minutes and then you fell asleep.
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